Date: Monday 29th March, 2010 | Country: Nigeria | 8 Comments »
It’s another long post so kick back with a drink and enjoy
Errrmmmm where do I start, firstly I have to honestly say that during this trip, nearly everyone has a similar opinion on Nigeria. Whenever it was mentioned that we would be travelling through Nigeria we heard the following …’Drive straight through!’, ‘It’s a lawless country’, ‘Never trust anyone’ amongst many other things. After months and months of this I was having nightmares about what might happen when we drive through. It was my turn at the border and I was alert and ready for any crap that officials might want to pull on me, within a few minutes I realised that these officials were in fact really nice people and they were interested in the journey that I was doing. One guy even gave me his number and asked me to call him after sometime in Nigeria to let him know what my opinion was of the country and another offered to share his breakfast with me!. Unlike most borders, here there was a logical sequence of guys to see and after my carnet was stamped I was ready to enter Nigeria within 30 min which is very fast (a good start!).
What I wasn’t expecting for the next 100km was hundreds upon hundreds of uniformed police (black uniforms), Drug Enforcement officers (white uniforms), Road Safety (beige uniforms) that would without fail stop us, initially via an aggressive gesture to park to the right followed by one or sometimes several officers approaching our vehicle wanting to know where we have come from and where we are going to. I have to say that although being stopped by these guys was an inconvenience nearly every officer we met was friendly and happy that we were visiting their country. Even when we stopped at a small roadside makeshift bar, the nearby policeman came and joined us for a drink and we all had a good chat and a laugh. Sadly it seemed though as nice as these officers are, the fact that they are carrying golf clubs, flare guns and AK-47’s shows that fighting crime here is just one of their objectives, obtaining a ‘dash’ (local term for bribe) seems another.
History
The first recorded empire to flourish was in the north east near lake Chad which grew wealthy from the trans-saharan trade routes. During the 12th century it adopted Islam as well as several other northern states. In the south west many smaller states were created around the same time dominated by the Yoruba and became an important trade route for metal works and then later in the 15th century trading pepper with the Portuguese and then trading slaves as this became more lucrative. During this period the northern Islamic states remained untouched by European influence until the 19th century. As the movement for slavery abolition grew in the 19th century, the British took the lead in suppressing conflicts with Yoruba slaves in the south near Lagos port and the French who were trying to advance their own territory along the Niger river. By the turn of the 20th century Nigeria was divided into 2, the southern, mainly Christian and the northern Islamic protectorate. The British chose to rule indirectly through local Kings and Chiefs which led to greater ethnic divisions. When independence came to Nigeria in 1960, politics immediately split along ethnic lines and coup followed by coup which also led to many deaths. In the 70’s Nigeria’s oil boom looked to solidify national reconciliation however this led to a new breed of corrupt governmental elitism which was overthrown by several military coups looking to have the same riches as the previous in power, until the late 90’s when Olusegun Obasanjo returned as president (his claim to represent all Nigerians regardless of religion). He unfortunately had to deal with community tensions when Sharia law was introduced in the northern states in 2000 which led to mass riots and severe bloodshed (estimated 10,000 were killed during his first term from communal violence). In the 2007 general election, Umaru Yar’Adua and Goodluck Jonathan, both of the People’s Democratic Party, were elected President and Vice President, respectively. The election was marred by electoral fraud, and denounced by other candidates and international observers. Yaradua’s presidency continues to be fraut with uncertainty as media reports say he suffers from kidney and heart disease. In November 2009 he fell ill and was flown out of the country to Saudi Arabia for medical attention. He remained incommunicado for 50 days, by which time rumours were rife that he had died. At present the vice president Goodluck Jonathan has taken over and even put in a new cabinet of ministers even though it is unclear if the president is alive or not.
F1 Drivers
As it was a Sunday, we decided to enter and leave Lagos as soon as possible and make our way to Abuja. For one thing accommodation doesn’t seem to be that cheap in Lagos and because there are 2 British embassies in Nigeria, the thinking was by going to the smaller city the easier the application for a new British passport would be (I am rapidly running out of pages in my current one). Lagos itself is a monster of a city, very intimidating when driving the spaghetti motorways that criss cross high above the streets of Lagos. At one point we were lost trying to find the way out of Lagos and stopping at a Petrol Station we met Yinka who volunteered to drive ahead and show us the way out (very nice man). Just before we were about to exit Lagos we went with Yinka for a quick drink and it turns out that he studied engineering in Budapest and so Reka had another new friend that they could gas in Hungarian for a while! Afterwards we were on our way to Abuja, what I realised after a few hours of driving was how big Nigeria actually was, a land mass of 924,000 sq km and a population of 140 million to get to Ibadan which looked relatively close to Lagos on the map took a good days drive to get there. Each small town we drove through was chaotic, I was amazed by the thousands upon thousands of Oil tankers that bullied their way past you on the motorway with hundreds upon hundreds of truck rest stops along the way. It seems that every Nigerian driver has a death wish associated with themselves as drivers are incapable of showing any patience while driving. It was clear that there are no fast or slow lanes as cars, trucks and motor bikes all weave in and out of traffic with little care, and no matter how long you are driving for getting used to this craziness would take several months unlike several hours in most of the countries we have already been to. There are no signs showing speed limits, there are plenty of examples old and new of horrific crashes that sometimes are in the middle of the road you are driving which create it’s own dangers, exhilarating it definitely is but I value my life and I wonder how many lives people really have here! On talking to many people here you realise that many people are actually hired drivers for families/individuals who drive a vehicle that does not belong to them which is one reason for the carelessness the other being that many drivers have a fake drivers license and so most drivers are clueless on what the correct way to drive is, you will see many drivers overtake you on the right and then suddenly turn left at a junction, others will risk their lives trying to gain a one car advantage in front of you even though the lights are red, I can recount numerous of accidents along the way to Abuja which lead to several hundred people getting involved all with their own versions of what happened, its madness!!
Above: A few examples of the thousands of wrecks dotted all over Nigeria
This chapter also leads me to a few incidents that we were actually in, and I’ll start with the least dangerous to the most!
Incident 1 – While driving through a town, Reka had stopped at a junction hoping to join the main road on the right hand side, some idiot on the left managed to sneak past us via the left hand side and decided to also want to go right (we are on a one lane road at this moment), Reka began to move forward and we knocked into the idiots car, the lemon started to act as if it was our fault and many locals came to us and started shouting at this twit as they all could see it was his fault. Reka managed to reverse and move on. Conclusion: No matter how wrong the driver is, he will never admit to his mistakes
Incident 2 – On driving through another town we are cruising on a road taking it easy when we see a car oncoming travelling at very high speeds suddenly loose control as the driver tries to avoid a pot hole in his lane, then in slow motion the car thankfully for us swerves out of control but heads into the bush to his right rather than his left and into us! When we got down I really thought the car would have turned over and maybe caused a death but apart from some car body damage, the driver and passenger got out in one piece albeit very shaky from what could have happened to them!
Incident 3 – In Abuja while Maggie was being serviced (see below), we decided to use a taxi to get to the nearby embassy of Cameroun. Most taxi drivers I have seen so far are just as reckless as all other Nigerian drivers so I wasn’t expecting a Disney ride, however it was mid morning, traffic in Abuja was easing up, and at one point a couple of cars decided to crawl over some speed bumps which are dotted around the city. Our driver wasn’t concentrating and instead of slowing down decided to accelerate into the car in front of him, smashing his bonnet in the process. Our driver decided to get out so he could assess what had just happened and speak to both the car in front of us and the car in front of them. The accident happened outside a place where a couple of police officers had also seen the incident. No worries so far right…then, the front car decided to drive, and drive very quickly as if they couldn’t be arsed to discuss the accident. Our driver wasn’t having any of it, he got straight back into the taxi and I began to realise that we should have got out as soon as the knock happened. What then occurred can only be described as a high speed car chase, forget the scene from Bullit, Mad Max 2 or the Matrix reloaded this shit was for real! Our driver was hell bent on getting in front of this car and no matter how many times he had swerved to stop the car from moving on, the driver in this car was intent on reversing out and not having a man to man conversation. Our driver was by this point unreasonable and was not going to let us out unless I whacked him over the head but I was afraid of causing another accident, Reka was crapping bricks in the back seat (so was I in the front!) and after 10 minutes of this chase, the driver in front realised he had better stop than to cause a mass pileup in the middle of Abuja. At this point not only was I angry by our own driver but by the recklessness of the driver in the car that wanted to getaway, I was in the face of this driver who decided his best course of action was to recline as low as possible into his driving seat and pretend that nothing had happened. In the back of his car was what I assumed was the owner and she while holding her baby started to unleash the most foul language ever known to human beings, I felt sorry for her kid. At this point, the police had turned up, dozens of onlookers started pointing in all directions and Reka and I were pumped up full of adrenalin with nowhere to go. A bystander came over to us and told us to leave the scene as the discussion between both drivers became increasingly heated and he told us that there was no point in giving our accounts as this would take hours before anything would be settled. We then got into another taxi and got him to promise to drive the slowest he had ever driven, it was the craziest taxi ride of my life!
Above: Taxi ride from hell
RHD
While still on the subject of driving and vehicles we encountered a situation whereby on the way into Abuja (about 40m away) we were stopped on the motorway by a vehicle carrying 4 road safety traffic officers. One of these beige coloured officers then took his time to come to the vehicle and you could immediately sense that he was not here to say ‘welcome’. On seeing that the Maggie was a right hand drive (RHD) he immediately told us that is illegal to drive a RHD in Nigeria and quoted some law from the 70’s. We told him that we are tourists travelling with a 30 day visa and so surely there is an exception to that rule for non residents travelling through their country, his answer was ‘follow me as you are to be impounded’! He had taken Reka’s fake plastic drivers license (we have a few for incidents like this), and asked us to follow his vehicle back to their office which sadly for us was not towards Abuja but going back on ourselves. As I explained above, Nigerians are unable to drive slowly so after a few Km, they had driven off into the distance still expecting us to follow them, the only problem was that Maggie was unwell, the drive to Abuja over hundreds of km of bad roads had knocked her silly and the clunking and lack of speed indicated we had a problem again with the front axle and bearings again. So as our top speed was 15-20mph it would have been stupid to try and escape as a) we do not blend into the traffic and b) our top speed was slower than what we could walk! Eventually the road safety vehicle had turned around and again began to lead us to their office.
Above: Drive like hell if these guys try and stop you in a RHD!
By the time we got to their building, the officer in charge had mentioned to us that noto nly must we pay a fine determined by the offence we had committed but also we must convert the Landy from a RHD to LHD in order for us to leave their premises. I felt like kicking his arse there and then but apart from the initial satisfaction, where would that have got us? Being led into their office I then met their chief who very calmly started to write out the offence on their stationery, all the questions such as ‘Why were we allowed to enter the country at the border?’ and ‘why would all other road safety officers along the way not stopping us for an illegal vehicle?’ the chief was not able to offer any answers to. The situation I felt was becoming more serious, the fine firstly was 8000 Naira (£40-50) plus the conversion itself was not something I would ever let anyone touch without losing my life for so I mentioned to the Chief that not only will I get the British Embassy involved but I will contact the BBC news who are keen to publicise any for of corruption that is currently occurring within Nigeria. The Chief raised his eyebrow and started to realise that extracting my money would not be a walk in the park. He called my bluff by giving me the incident report and giving us 24 hours to pay for the ‘offence’. Reka meanwhile wanted to see the specifics of the offence in their Road and safety law books but they could not provide anything there and then but told her that they will have it for by tomorrow. After spending the next few hours trying to obtain the British embassy’s phone number (lonely planet had incorrect numbers), Amie in the UK managed to sort me out with the correct number (Thanks Amie!), and after getting through to the consular the advice I was given by the embassy was that ‘it is advised that everyone drives a LHD in Nigeria’, I told him thanks for nothing! Then a light bulb moment occurred, the day when leaving Ibadan we met a Baba (Pronounced Ba’bi) a Romanian Teacher of Law in the middle of a roundabout (as you do) as we asked her for directions to get out of the city. She fortunately for us gave us her number and after calling her she told us that it sounded ridiculous that this department was telling us we had committed a crime. As with most things in Africa you need a lot of patience, within 4 hours of the first phone call with Babe, we realised her connections were very good, while in the office I heard the Chief commander of the police force tell the Road safety officers that he would be dealing with their bosses. Eventually the officers came out and handed over Reka’s fake driver license and the fake keys we gave them for Maggie and we were back on the road again!
The Younes Family
Ok time to balance up the negativity above with some overwhelming goodness. As mentioned above, the couple of days it took to drive from Lagos to Abuja knocked the stuffing out of Maggie and with what seemed like a broken bearing we needed emergency treatment in the form of a decent mechanic quickly. The night before we found a cheap place to stay in Abuja (Power Mike Motel, Wuse, Abuja) in fact Reka managed to wangle us camping in their car park for free. Over a few drinks that night we met Ik, Charles & Emmanuel who told us that there is one well known recognised mechanic near the area Wuse 2. The next morning we eventually found the garage (there are no signs outside) and saw dozens upon dozens of vehicles inside the compound that formed the garage, always a good sign that business is good here but the downside being it could take several days before Maggie the landy was looked at. Reka went to meet the owner and within 5 minutes both she and the owner Solomon came to see Maggie and myself. He told us that when there was a free moment that day he and one of his mechanics would investigate the problem. In the meantime we met Solomon’s son George who also works with his father and for the next few hours in the scorching sun chatted to both of them about their business and Abuja and life. Solomon seemed an extremely busy man, car’s were queuing up outside to be seen by his mechanics, he has a number of contracts with the various embassy vehicles that are in Abuja and has all the kit you can think of to ensure he never has to go anywhere else to perform any kind of diagnostic on any car/truck you can name. When Solomon got an opportunity to look at Maggie he quickly checked the Hub and showed us that the disc surrounding the hub was damaged and it would either need to be replaced completely or the disc goes through a machine that smoothens the surface. It didn’t meant too much to me but Solomon was being open as to what our options were. He said that he would check at this home as he has a discovery hub that could be used as a like for like replacement if it fits correctly.
Above Left: Solomon, Centre: Diesel Tuner Right: A Customer’s gorgeous Merc
George in the meantime wanted to take us out for a drink but as it was getting dark we were worried that we hadn’t found any accommodation by then but he had asked one of his mechanics to go in search of a hotel for us that was reasonable in price (Nice!). George was easy to get along with, amazingly he is only 20 years but has a very mature head on him (although he loves to party!), he told us about some Belgium bikers he met last year doing a similar trip to what we are doing and I could tell he at some point will no doubt do his own trip when he is ready. After some beers and a spicy dish of cow shins (yes..cow shins!), George took us to meet his family as Solomon had invited Reka and I to have some drinks at his house. Straight away we were made to feel right at home and memories of the Santos family in Guinea Bissau came flooding back. Over the next few hours sitting outside their beautiful family home we had some great conversation and it was clear that this was a lovely family where everyone was strong and independent but everyone looked out for each other (the fight with the 3 Lebanese by the swimming pool story comes to mind!). Solomon had left Lebanon during the early years of the civil war and after a number of years working in Nigeria on various engineering and construction projects had setup his own Mechanics in the newly created city of Abuja after moving his family from Lagos (apologies Solomon if I have got any of this wrong). Jo was lovely towards Reka and I, and asked us if we would like to stay with her and her family while the vehicle was getting fixed, there was no hesitation and for the next 4-5 days we were part of the Younes family!
Above Left: Solomon, Jo, George, Stephanie, Reka & Michelle, Centre: Leo, Right: Solomon
George the international playboy that he is, likes to work and play hard in Abuja. We did a couple of really late nights with him during the week, an all night poker game (that he won!) and many beers the next, I was shattered!! We met his mate Ron a crazy Israeli and we also spent some good times with him as well. One day I clearly remember sitting outside with Reka, Jo and her daughters Michelle and Stephanie and while the girls smoked the narguile (shisha pipe) constantly, Jo, Reka and I went through dozens of beers sharing stories of our travels and their hilarious experiences in Lebanon, it was a good day! Michelle then left as she was planning her marriage in the states later that year and I wish her all the best with her preps and hope her wedding is an amazing affair. I also met their wonderful dog Leo a beautiful intelligent cross breed that warmed to Reka and I (thankfully), who would sleep on my makeshift living room bed on most nights we were there.
Above Left: Jo & Stephanie, Right: Christopher
It was a great time that we both had with the Younes Family, Solomon I hope you don’t mind me saying but you are crazy but have the heart of solid gold, I would like to thank yourself and Jo for making us feel like being at home for the time we spent together and our endless hunt for that ‘Cold’ beer. You have a wonderful family and it was great to see that, like I said, it is hard to repay your generosity and what you did for us but if there is anything I can do in the future, please just contact me. Maggie the Landrover is driving perfectly again thanks to the work you did. George, keep in touch mate, maybe that conversation about South America could happen if the timing is right, you are a top bloke and it would be cool to see you in London sometime.
For any Over Landers in Abuja that need some assistance, Solomon’s garage is found at the following address:
Hidson Engineering Company, WUSE 2, Abuja (Near Bannex Plaza)
Loopy Lagos
There is only one reason why we had to come back to Lagos from Abuja and that was because the British Embassy in Abuja send all passport applications down to Lagos to process! So after Maggie was fixed with the advice of Solomon we went via a different route back to Lagos where the roads were much better than our initial route and within a day and a bit we were back in Lagos. First point of call was the British Embassy, 36,000 Naira later (£180) and asking them nicely to turn this around asap, we now have to wait. Photos of Lagos below, please note, most of Nigeria at this moment has a weather front called the Harmattan winds. The Harmattan is a dry and dusty West African trade wind. It blows south from Sahara into the Gulf of Guinea between the end of November and the middle of March and so although everything seems grey, that is the dust that covers the skies at present!
Top Left: Yinka, Bottom Right: Danny the General Manager of the Eko Hotel
On our search for some cheap accommodation, the cheapest we could find was 2500 Naira (£10-12) but these were in areas that had no parking for Maggie and I wasn’t going to risk anything happening to her for the sake of a cheap room, so after a few unsuccessful attempts we decided to hit the big hotels and see if we could camp in their grounds, one if the biggest if not the biggest in Lagos is the Eko Hotel (rooms start around £150 per night) and Reka managed to weave her magic when she met Danny the General manager of the hotel who said ‘why would you camp when you can have a room for free’?’, so thanks to him we had a swish room fully kitted out for one night courtesy of him, thanks to Danny and the kindness of the Eko hotel for that.
While Reka was sorting out the paperwork I managed to find the bar and within a few minutes a guy called Connie approached me asking if that was my land rover outside. It so happened that Connie (an Irish guy) now an owner of a large Air-conditioning business did a similar trip in a Landy from South Africa up the east coast a number of years back. After listening to his stories and sharing ours he wanted to know if we had a place to stay after this, Connie said that there is a compound where some of his key workers stay in Lagos and there is enough room for a Landy and it’s tents to park up for a while, it was an offer we couldn’t refuse. Connie like many other people I have met along the way have the kindness and spirit that is so welcoming for travellers like myself, and based on one beer and a nice chat, he was willing to put us up, again, amazing! It was here in the compound that we met Alan, Paul and Mark. Alan works for Connie’s company VACC and he has recently moved to Nigeria from the UK after spending a good 28 years in Botswana. On our first night of meeting everyone, we spent several hours by their swimming pool sinking beers, Paul and Mark from Northern Ireland work for another engineering/construction company and we all had a nice time, these guys were great. Alan offered a couple of spare rooms that he has in his house and the offer of a fully air con room over a sweaty tent was to great to refuse. We would like to thank Alan for his hospitality and his trust in us while he has been working for us to stay in his house, again some amazing hospitality from someone we have just met! He has also given us some great places to go and see when we get to Botswana at some point in the future.
Above: Alan & his house
Vision Africa
While dealing with the British Embassy we met a couple of guys that said they worked for a magazine called Vision Africa, we exchanged details and they mentioned they would like to run a piece in their next issue on the travel we are currently doing. A few days later and I arranged to meet them back at the Embassy and for the next couple of hours both Reka and I were interviewed about why we are doing what we are doing, are perceptions on Africa and Nigeria in particular and the whole experience was a nice one, the Editor-In-Chief Adal Jullus and his reporter Oludare Ogunyombo were both lovely guys and Jullus had promised to send my parents a few copies of the magazine when it is ready in a few weeks time (something to show the grandkids in the future!). The magazine seems to have plenty of interviews with senior officials/ministers in Africa and coverage can be seen in Ghana, Nigeria and South Africa amongst other countries.
Above: Vision Africa Interview
Conclusion
Wow, where do I start, after only a couple of weeks I have only touched the surface of what Nigeria has to offer, it’s a country that is there to be explored but has been dealt a terrible hand in that the world’s perception of Nigeria is one that has no positives. Now that I have at least experienced some of Nigeria has to offer I can clearly say for a fact that Nigerian people have been some of the friendliest I have met along this journey so far, we have been treated as ambassadors everywhere we have driven, many people have been so curious to know about what we are doing, they have stopped in the middle of traffic and got out of their cars to speak to us and welcome us to Nigeria. Of course there have been some downsides such as the lack of respect for officers due to the fact that being an officer in Nigeria unfortunately is seen as someone who wants to make money from you very quickly rather than trying to uphold the law. Nigeria is an extremely wealthy country mainly due to its massive quantities of crude oil but is that wealth actually in some shape given back to the hundreds of millions that live here, in my opinion, no, people are living here with a road system that is shockingly bad unless you happen to live in the newly built city that is Abuja. Electricity goes off and on more often here in Nigeria than in some of the poorest countries I have already been too such as Sierra Leone and Liberia and that is sad. It means that virtually every business worth its salt has to pay for an expensive generator and run this virtually 24 hrs a day to have any electricity, the knock on effect of this means that anything you want to buy or use a service that uses electricity (which is a lot) tends to be much more expensive to purchase because of these additional costs. A classic example was walking into a supermarket called Shoprite and seeing that a lettuce in a refrigerated environment costs the punter a cool £12 (yes you read it right, Twelve pounds for a Lettuce!). I have heard from so many locals here that the area where most of the oil is extracted from in the Niger Delta is in such a bad condition compared to other areas of Nigeria that locals there are now turning to extreme measures to get their voices heard (kidnapping expat’s as an example). Also hearing that oil extracted by the multinational oil companies is refined overseas, while only a limited quantity is supplied to Nigerians themselves is also something that as a Nigerian i would not be happy about. Politics aside, Nigeria is a country that I can recommend to anyone that has a sense of adventure, the friends that you will no doubt meet along the way is surely something that cannot be underestimated when travelling anywhere in the world and here is no exception. Just a word of warning for those that are over landing through here, make sure your are tightly strapped in as you are about to experience one long roller coaster of a ride!
Above: Various Photos of Nigeria (The jungle photos are of a conservation park just outside Lagos and is a magical place to visit to see snakes and lizards, we saw a green mamba and a few brown mamba’s along the walk)
Reka – HUN:
A magyar nyelvu beszamolo Benin es Togo-nal elmaradt, de azt gondolom, hogy a kepek magukert beszelnek. Beninben kb. 1 hetet toltottunk, bejartuk az orszagot tetotol talpig; lattunk woo-doo piacot, meg osi tatakat (eroditmeny szeru valyog kunyho). Togoban meg majd’ megfulladtunk a kismotorok buzetol, de ezen kivul (legalabbis szamomra) a ket orszag elegge felejtheto elmeny volt. Ja, a vizeses kivetelevel, ami egy csoda volt!
Nigeriaba mindketten hatalmas fenntartasokkal indultunk, reszben szemelyes tapasztalatok alapjan, de fokent a kornyezo orszagokban hallot remtortenetek miatt.
Elso elmeny: hataratkeles – csillagos otos. A hatarorok kedvesek voltak, es seperc alatt atjutottunk. Majd 5 meterre a hataratkelotol (szo szerint) megallitott az “utbiztinsagi hivatal”, ra 5 meterre a “kabitoszer ellenes csoport” es a “bavandorlasi hivatal” emberei, hogy ujabb teljesen felesleges kerdeseket tegyenek fel.
Az ex-fovaros, Lagos fele vettuk az iranyt, amit sokan meg a mai napig is Nigeria fovarosanak gondolnak, pedig a 60-as evekben az elnok ugy dontott, hogy az orszag foldrajzi kozeppontjan, az oserdot letarolva, uj kozpontot letesitenek. Abujarol reszletesen kesobb…
Nekem Lagos elso latasra egy sci-fi filmbeli, szurke badogvarosnak tunt, hatalmas feluljarokkal es hidakkal tarkitva, ahol a helyiek 100 km-es sebesseggel szaguldanak oten egymas mellett a ket savos uton. Nem telt bele 5 perc sem, mikor mindketten ugy ereztuk, hogy ebbol eleg, csak talaljunk ki innen es erjunk el egy kisvarosba, meg mielott besotetedik. Persze a betonrengetekben fogalmunk sem volt, hogy merre van a kifele, ugyhogy egy benzinkutnal megkerdeztunk egy ferfit. Miutan Yinka kozolte, hogy az olcso szallas 2-400$-ba kerul, vilagossa valt szamunkra, hogy az o koltsegvetese fenyevekre van a mienktol. Vegulis az Eko Hotel barjaban kotottunk ki, hogy egy itallal megkoszonjuk a segitseget a kivezeto uttal. Beszlgetesunk soran ismet hatalmas meglepetes ert, amikor kozolte, hogy Budapeste szerzett mernoki diplomat, ugyhogy az immaron szokasos: “Istenem, ez nem igaz!” felkialtasok utan egy darabig magyarul folytattuk a csevegest, de aztan Noelre valo tekintettel visszavaltttunk angolra.
Este 6 korul ertunk Ibadanban, ami szinten nem volt kisvaros, de legalabb megerkezesunk utan nem sokkal sikerult elfogadhato aron szallast talalnunk. Mivel azap meg nem ettunk, latvan a helyieket falatozni, megkerdeztem a recepcion, hogy van-e etel? Valsz: Nincs. -De a helyiek esznek; az nem etel? -Nem, az hal! -OK, tehat van etel, amit ehetunk. -Nics, etel az nincs, hal van. -Jo, akkor kerek ket halat. -De friss hal, azt meg meg kell fozni, megvarod? -Nana, hogy megvarom, te idiota, egesz nap nem ettunk. A vegen aztan kb. fel ora mulva nagyon izletes, halaszlehez hasonlo (persze a tieteket Tibi es Pityu meg sem kozelito) levest kaptunk – ami persze nem etel!
Masnap reggel a hihetetlen forgalmi dugo kellos kozepen egy feher holgytol kertem segitseget, aki amikor felreallt, hogy segitsen, eleg eros kelet-europai akcentussal valaszolt. Miutan kiderult, hogy roman, Kolozsvarrol, magyarul folytattuk a beszelgetest, es telefonszamot csereltunk. Baba felajanlotta a segtseget, ha barmi gondunk lenne, mivel 25 eve Nigeriaban ugyvedeskedik. Nem gondoltam, hogy mar masnap fel kell hivjam. Tobbszaz kilometeres, ezernyi godorrel tarkitott utszakasz utan az utbiztonsagi hivatal emerei Abujatol egy oranyira allitottak meg, es letartoztattak Maggiet, mivel jobbkormanyos autot vezetni Nigeriaban illegalis. Tobb, mint 4 oran at tartottak az autot fogsagban, 8000 Naira birsagot kovetelve (kb. 12E Forint). Mi mar elvbol nem fizetunk soha semmiert (ha csak nincs veszhelyzet), inkabb felhivtam Babat, akinek magasrangu kapcsolatai reven sikerult kiszabaditanunk Maggiet egy filler nelkul. Azota is nagyon halasak vagyunk Babanak!
Sajnos Maggie nem csak a lefoglalast szenvedte meg, de a borzalmas utakat is, ugyhogy mire Abujaba ertunk, fajdalmas zajokat hallatott a job elso kereknel. Mar sotet volt, amikor vegre szallasra leltunk. Egy motel udvaran kempingeztunk. Azota is lelkiismeret furdalasom van, mert Nelson, a Power Mike nevu motel vezetoje megengedte, hogy ingyen satorozzunk nala, annak remenyeben, hogy az elkovetkezendo napokban, amikor lesz felszabadulo szobaja, majd ott alszunk. Ugyan en mondtam, hogy nem igerek semmit, mert minden attol fugg, hogy milyen hamar tudjuk a vizumokat, illetve uj utleveleket beszerezni. Meg most, ket het utan is szinte minden nap hiv. Fel kellett volna hivnom masnap, hogy megmondjam, hogy nem jovunk vissza, de annyi minden tortent, hogy megfeledkeztem rola…
Reggel az angol kovetsegre indultunk, ahol nem fogadtak Noelt delutanig, ugyhogy irany a szerviz, Maggiet meg kell gyogyitani. Persze, hogy megint egy libanoni szerelot ajanlottak a helyiek -ugy tunik, hogy Nyugat-Afrikaban nem erdemes mas muhelybe menni, mint a helyi libanonihoz-.
Solomon szervize annyira tele volt, hogy nem sok bizodalmam volt benne, hogy rank er-e majd. De amint elmondtam a problemankat, egybol megnezte a serultet, es mondta, hogy segit. Amig a diagnozsra vartunk, megismerkedtunk Solomon fiaval, George-dzsal, aki korbe kerdezett szallas ugyben is. A nap vegere vilagos volt, hogy a jobb elso csapagyunk immaron masodszor ripityara torott, es nem lesz kesz aznap. Solomon meghivott minket egy sorre a csalad otthonaba, ahol talalkoztunk Jo-val (nigeriai-japan feleseg), a lanyokkal Michellel es Stephanie-val, es a kisebbik fiuval, Christopherrel, illetve a kutyakkal: Leo (rottweiler/doberman keverek), Gucci (pumi) es Kakshi (nemetjuhasz). Az egesz csalad orult!!! De a legjob ertelemben… a kovetkezo 4 napot naluk toltottuk, miutan felajanlottak a 2 klimatizalt vendegszobat. A szamtalan tortenetet keptelenseg visszaadni (hacsak nem akarok novellat irni), de egy par tanulsagot mindenkeppen sikerult leszurni beloluk:
Solomon mar kozel 40 eve el Nigeriaban, mert sem o, sem a csaladtagok nem tudjak elviselni a libanoniak kepmutato eletstilusat, ahol csakis egy dolog szamit; az hogy mennyi penzed van. Nigeria meg tele van idiotakkal, akiknek nem szmit hogy hanyszor magyarazod el ugyanazt, csak akkor ertik meg, ha kiabalsz, vagy kezet emelsz rajuk. Ha oszinte akarok lenni, nagyon megkedveltem ezt a csaladot, mert iszonyuan nyitottak, baratsagosak es ami a szivukon, az a szajukon is. Solomon hihetetlenul kemenyen dolgozott, hogy eljuson arra a szintre, ahogyan most elnek, es valoszinuleg ennek az eletszinvonalnak, illetve eletformanak koszonheto egy-ket megnyilvanulasuk mind Nigeriaval, mind Libanonnal kapcsolatban. A par nap alatt, amit naluk toltottunk tobb sort ittunk meg es cigt szivtunk el, mint egyebkent egy honap alatt (nemi tulzassal) es kb. annyit is aludtunk csak. De nagyon jol ereztuk magunkat es hatalmaskat beszelgettunk es rohogtunk. Nem hiszem, hogy vissza tudom adni a hangulatot, de minden sztori ugy vegzodik, hogy a csalad valamelyik tagja vagy torka szakadtabol uvolt, vagy eppen behuz valakinek, aki balfaszkodott veluk. Vannak azert am komoly tortenetek is, amik elgondolkoztatnak, hogy mennyi faji es egyeb megkulonboztetesben van az embereknek a mai napig reszuk. Mint peldaul amikor Jo-t Bejrutban hazvezetononek nezik, ha csak nem oltozik dizajner ciccokba; es az abujai uszodabol kiutaljak a felver Christophert a feher libanoni bevandorlok. Nem csoda, hogy mind a 4 gyereket kemeny fabol faragtak, es mindenaron kiallnak az elveik mellett. Hosszasan tudnek meg irni az elkepeszto tortenetekrol, amiket hallottunk, de azt hiszem majd fogom magam, es elmegyek Libanonba, hogy a sajat szememmel lassam. Nem ugy, mint az allitolagos lagosi piacot, ahol barmilyen emberi szerv es testresz beszerezheto a fekete magia gyakorlasahoz -persze csak ha tudod, hogy kitol es mit kell kerdezni-, de azt hiszem ezt meghagyom a kotelidegzetueknek.
Egyik este abujaban elveszitettem poker-szuzessegem is. Eletemben eloszor jatszottam szerencsejatekot, es koszonhetoen annak, hogy hajnali 4-kor mar mindenkinek leragadt a szeme, felosztottuk a nyeremenyt a meg bent levo 3 jatekos (nev szerint, es nyeresi sorrendben: Noel, George es en) kozott, megharomszorosoztam a beszllo osszeget. De aggodalomra semmi ok, nem leszek pokerfuggo (meg sokat kell ahhoz gyakorolnom).
Az emberi onzetlenseg es segitokeszseg ujabb peldajarol szereztunk tanusagot, amikor indulasunk elotti napot Solomon kozolte, hogy “nagyon szivesen”, amikor megprobaltunk barmifele fizetseget adni a munkaert, amit Maggin vegeztek, illetve cserebe a szallas-ellatasert. Mindosszesen annyit tudtunk megigerni, hogy ha barmilyen alkatreszre szuksege van, amit Europabol kell beszerezni, akkor abban segitunk, illetve minden utazonak a Banex Plaza mogotti Lebanese Garage-ot ajanljuk , mert Abijaban Solomon a legjobb!
Vizum es utlevel mizeria: Noelnek es nekem is beteloben van az utlevelunk, ezert a legnyilvanvalobb megoldashoz folyamodnk, illetve folyamodnank; megpedig kerelmezunk egy ujat a kovetsegen. Aha, ahogy te azt elkepzeled… az angol kovetsegre bejutni sem egyszeru, nem hogy beszelni valakivel. De aztan hosszas varakozas utan kiderult, hogy minden informacioval ellentetben Lagosban gyorsabb az ugyintezes (3 nap, 2 het helyett). A magyar kovetseg meg ugy ahogy van nem er semmit. A lenyeg az, hogy miota a csilli-villi ujlenyomatos utlevelet hasznajuk, magyar allampolgarok kulfoldon csak Ideiglenes Utazasi Okmanyt kaphatnak, ami kizarolag hazautazasra ervenyes – tehat rajtam nem segit. Aztan hosszas huza-vona utan kiderul, hogy van am olyan kezzel kiallitott utlevel is, ami tovabbutazasra is es egy evig ervenyes. Hurra, nyaralunk! -gondoltam en. De nem am olyan egyszeruen van am ez kerem szepen… ugyanis a kiallitas feltetelei: elveszett, lejart, megrongalodott vagy betelt utalevel. Na, nekem egyik sincs; csak majdnem betelt, de ez a hihetetlenul segitokesz munkatarsnak nem eleg jo. Tehat a dilemma: vagy osszepecseteltetem a maradek 5 oldalamat, hogy kaphassak 6 ujat egy utlevelnek nem kinezo dokumentumban, amit ki tudja, hogy elfogadnak-e agyontanult afrikai hataror barataink vagy rizikozunk, es minden hatarallomason es kovetsegen konyorgom, hogy nehogy ures oldalra pecseteljenek vagy… na ez a vagy, ami megoldas lehetett volna, de a magyar burokracia miatt szoba sem johet; vagyis hogy a kulkepviseleti munkatars jo fej lesz, es bavalallja, hogy kulonleges esetkent kezel, es a budapesti kozpont engedelyezese nelkul meg mielott betelne jelenlegi utlevelem, kiallit egy ideigleneset. Szoval most B terv van eletben, vagyis imadkozunk, hogy a par maradek oldalam eleg legyen Del-Afrikaig. Ja, jo tanacs a konzulatustol: ha esetleg olyan orszagban telik be, ahol nincs magyar nagykovetseg (tehat barhol Nigeria es Del-Afrika kozott 
, akkor csak forduljak nyugodtan az EU konzulhoz, aki ki kell hogy adja az ideiglenes utiokmanyt. Csak akkor kezdtem el kirohogni, amikor a kerdesemre, hogy biztos van-e ilyen EU kepviselet minden tovabbi orszagban, azt valaszolta, hogy “en sajnos ezt nem tudom garantalni, de miert nem nez utana”. Jo vicc!
Viszont a vizumokkal rekordot dontottunk, amikor ropke 4 ora alat beszereztuk a kameruni es kongoi vizumokat. Gabon remalom volt; amikor a kovetsegen megjelentunk szemelyesen es informaciot es a noci a kezembe nyom egy papircetlit a honlapjukkal. Hulyenek nez, vagy mi? Ugyhogy hamar el is dontottuk, hogy Gabon felejtos. Angolat viszont nem tudjuk kikerulni, de most mar legalabb tudjuk (kozel 3 oras varakozas utan) az abujai kovetsegtol, hogy fuggetlenul attol, hogy hol igenyeljuk a vizumot, csak 5 napos tranzitot kaphatunk, mert nem a lakohelyunk szerinti kovetsegen kerelmeztuk, illetve a kiallio orszagba sincsen legalabb 6 honapos vizumunk. A legnagyobb riziko faktor szamomra, hogy az o vizumuk 2 oldalba kerul, es nekem mar csak 5 van. De azt olvastam a neten, hogy Del-Afrikaba nem kell vizum, ugyhogy valahogy csak megoldom…
Tehat a nap viszonylag sikeresen vegzodott, de azt majd’ elfelejtettem, hogy a kezdet kozel sem volt rozsas, ugyanis uton a kovetsegre a taxisoforunk belerohant az elotte fekvorendor miatt lelassito autoba, aki meg az elotte levobe. Lenyeg a lenyeg, hogy a legelso autos meglepett, de a mi soforunk nem hagyta ezt annyiban, es velunk a kocsiban utanaeredt. Ha lattal orult autos uldozest amerikai filmekben, akkor el tudod kepzelni, hogy miben volt reszunk az elkovetkezendo 10 percben. En majd’ osszefostam magam mikozben Noel uvoltott a csavoval, hogy mielott artatlan embereket megol, alljon meg. Vegulis kikecmeregtunk az autobol, amikor szamos probalkozas utan ugy a masik auto ele pordultunk, hogy az nem tudott meglepni; torkunk szakadtabol uvltottunk mindket amokfuto soforrel, majd fogtunk egy masik taxit, es folytattuk utunkat, immaron egekbe meredo adrenalin szinttel.
Vissza Lagosba az ut nem volt kevesbe elmenydus, ugyanis meg az autopalyan sem lehetsz biztonsagban a szembe jovo forgalomtol. Igen, jol olvastad, az autopalyan, ahol mindenki 150-nel kozlekedik egyik elozesnel csak megjelenik egy olajszallio kamion, es jon szembe a belso savon, vagy eppen a rendorsegi utblokadot kell kikeruld ha nem akarsz 120-szal athajtani egy felmeteres faronkon. De vegulis epsegben ideertunk, szallas persze sehol. Vagy irgalmatlan draga, vagy patkanylyuk. Ugyhogy vegso elkeseredesunkben behajtottunk a mar elso lagosi latogatasunkbol ismert irgalmatlan draga Eko Hotel parkolojaba, hogy engedelyt kerjunk kempingezesre. Aztan beszeltem a recepciossal, aki elkuldott a biztonsagi fonokhoz, aki tovabb iranyitott a szallodaigazgato helyetteshez. Danny aztan megkerdezte, hogy iert nem akarnk inkabb egy szobaban aludni, mire en: mert nem tudjuk megfizetni ( a legolcsobb szallas kb. 60E Forint egy estere); erre kozolte, hogy ne aggodjak, ingyen van. Micsoda? Csoda! Igy tortent hat, hogy luxusszallasunk lett aznapra. A nagy izgalomra le kellett guritanunk egy sort a barban (3E Forint), ahol Noel beszedbe elegyedett Conny-val, egy ir pasival, aki felajanlotta, hogy masnap a lakoparkja udvaran satrozhatunk, ahol uszomedence is van. Igy is tettunk, de miutan megerkezesunk utan par sorrel Alan, aki az udvaron csatlakozott hozzank, felajanlotta, hogy aludjunk az o 3 szobas hazaban. Alan 28 evig dolgozott Botswanaban, majd egy par eves angliai hazateres utan elfogadott egy 2 eves nigeriai szerzodest Conny cegenel. Nem eloszor tapasztaljuk az ut soran, hogy a nem letezo szerencses veletlenek mennyire velunk vannak. Amig Noel utlevelere varunk, Alan endegszeretetet elvezzuk, es egyik nap Conny tanacsara elmentunk a Lekki Conservation Parkba, ahol orakon keresztul barangoltunk az esoerdobe epitett fahidakon. Meglepetesemre (es utolagos megdobbenesemre) semmilyen figyelmeztetes nincs arrol, hogy eletveszelyes kigyofajok is elnek a parkban, mint peldaul a zold mamba, aminek marasa halalos is lehet. De csodalatos, hogy a betonrengetegtol alig negyed oranyira egy ilyen oazisra leltunk. Lattunk meg majmokat, meg orias gyikot, meg felmasztam a kilatoba, ami egy hatalmas fa tetejen, kb. negy emelet magasan volt. A hihetetlen paratartalom ellenere hihetetlen elmeny volt.
Meg a kovetseg elott osszefutottunk ket ujsagiroval, akik tegnap aztan interjut keszitettek velunk a magazinjuknak, ami Nigeriaban, Ganaban, Del-Afrikaban es Angliaban is a standokon lesz kovetkezo honapban. (Noel szuleihez kuldenek egy par peldanyt postan, ugyhogy a gyujtok licitjeit varom szeretettel)
Nigeria osszessegeben nagy meglepetes volt, mert a vegellathatatlan figyelmeztetesek es eloiteletek ellenere eddig -a borzalmas autosokon es utakon kivul- csak jo elmenyben volt reszunk. Ugyan meg elottunk all egy jo par napos ut a kameruni hatarig, bizom benne, hogy jo szaj izzel hagyjuk el ezt a “rettegett” orszagot, ahol egyebkent meg talan jobban mint barhol mashol erezheto a kulonbseg regiok es emberek eletszinvonala kozott. Vegyuk peldeul Abujat, amit a 60-as evekben kezdtek el a semmibol felepiteni es mara olyan szinvonalu uthalozattal rendelkezik, amit sok europai fovaros megrigyelhetne, ugyanakkor meg itt is allando az aramkimaradas. Vagy Lagos, amely egyes reszei vegellathatatlan badoghazakbol allnak es a szemet szo szerint folyik az utcakon, viszont a bevasarlo kozontban egy fej karfiol 3E Forintba kerul. Szelsosegek, egyenlotlenseg, nyomor es gazdagsag mind a korrupcio eredmenye. De egy biztos, Nigeria kozel sem olyan “bunos”, mint ahogy mi azt Europaban elkepzeljuk. Szegyen, hogy az -a Nigeria lakossaganak szamat (140 M) figyelembe veve elhanyagolhato- par bunozo ilyen rossz hiret kelti ennek az orszagnak.
